Monday, June 30, 2014

AWPATT V: June 24-30 (Thoughts 24-30)

24 If you celebrate something, there has to be a meaning to it. And if there is a meaning to it, you ought to understand it. If someone mindlessly follows traditions, that’s an enormous turn-off. I can’t be in a relationship with someone without an independent mind.

25 For that matter, doing anything without a good reason for it is a big red flag. Do you put as much thought into your life as I do mine? I’ve thought my life through thoroughly because it matters to me. If you haven’t, then you essentially express by your actions that it doesn’t matter to you. So then, I wouldn’t matter to you—because what I value is a part of my identity. And you can’t have a functioning relationship where one person doesn’t matter to the other

26 There seems to be a fair amount of pleasantly fit women at the gym. Hardly a revelation there. But after a couple met gazes and smiles extended, it makes me wonder where I’ll meet my SO. Could it be at the gym? In a supermarket checkout? At church? On the street? How my future will play out is a tantalizing mystery, and keeps me motivated to stay in it and find out.

27 While someone who’s out of shape is unappealing, someone who has battled weight and adopted a physically active lifestyle is a more hopeful investment than someone who’s skinny but never came within a mile of a pair of running shoes. As an interesting side note, a demonstrated determination to lose weight may be more valuable than I previously recognized, considering the effects of [multiple] pregnancy[ies]

28 There’s different ways to be acquainted with lousy people. One way is to keep them at arm’s length, and make nearly every encounter about witnessing to them. Another way is to pal around with them like you’re buddy-buddy with them. If a lady does the latter with people who are worse influences on her than she is a good influence on them, it will show me she’s either got poor judgment or is ‘of the wrong social stock’ to begin with and I will be wise to keep her at arm’s length and avoid engaging with her personally.

29 It feels really good to flirt. But perhaps this is a side effect of it being the deepest intimacy level with strangers I’ll allow myself to have. Others might like hugging, holding hands, dancing, kissing, or sex. I imagine I’ll be less flirtatious when I find that one person to pour all my romantic energy into. On the other hand, perhaps it’ll be such a big part of my personality and so ingrained at that point, that I’ll always talk that way. Of course, whether you come off as flirtatious depends mostly on whether someone likes you.

30 I want someone who’s confident—just not via being self-absorbed or having an inflated view of self. Failing that, if I’m able to build up her confidence because she receives words of encouragement from me gladly, that would be enjoyable to do. But someone who denies and refuses to accept positive comments is expressing a form of pride that relishes a low view of self. This is a turn-off and it’s offensive to be called a liar with regard to your personal feelings of what’s nice, beautiful, etc. More than a few girls have fallen out of my interest this way. The quickest route to offend somebody is to disagree with them over what is or is not their benevolent opinion and to imply they have no right to encourage or help you.

~ Rak Chazak

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