June 1-4, 2014. AWPATT #1-4
1 Looks aren’t most important. But looks are important. They should never overrule bad character in choosing yes, but can still disqualify if good character is present. In other words, it can’t be a priority in making a decision for initiating a relationship, but can be a limiting factor in a decision against beginning a relationship. You don’t go looking for the ugliest person you can find, as if looks don’t matter at all. There needs to be attraction between the two of you. But you still have to deal with the character and personality when the outer beauty fades away, so it’s wise to make sure that the condition of those are such that you won't find yourself in an intolerable situation down the road.
2 I want someone who has good work sense. Who fits in when things need to be done and takes direction well. Who understands that requests for help are not done out of laziness but actually recognize her ability and importance. Someone who doesn’t cop an attitude about having to put in effort to do something—ever. This was provoked in reflecting on coworkers. Certainly the above is applicable to me, too, but I don’t need to be told. When I know I have a job to do, you’re not going to find me snottily saying “you can say please” or “say excuse me!” Formalities are beyond unimportant when work needs to be done. Do soldiers in a war zone or rescuers during a humanitarian crisis ask politely and say thank you when they need something? No, they shout that they need it and someone tosses it to them. People who demand formalities in a busy work environment are really displaying self-righteousness. If someone does this, it’ll be a huge red flag to me and I will be very strongly turned off. My spouse will have to have work ethic. And they will have to be okay with not being praised, or shown formalities just for existing.
3 I have an idea that her name has to sound right. Jessica, Rebecca and Sarah are my most common go-to “wife names,” if I’m daydreaming. Some names sound more adult-like, and some sound fringy. Ashley sounds young and immature, whereas Shirley sounds old. I wonder how I’ll be surprised. What strange – or entirely not – name will my future love interest turned fiancée possess?
4 I won’t marry a divorced woman lest her husband cheated. A woman who has had a no-fault divorce and her husband remarries, I still would probably avoid. You don’t know what’ll happen in the future. What if the husband divorces that woman and comes back, humbly and repentant, to his first wife to seek forgiveness? You don’t know that they won’t get back together. Don’t interfere in a relationship where two people ‘gave up’ because ‘it got hard.’ It’s not your place, and in strictly Biblical terms, it sure seems like it’s a sin. A once-it’s-done, it’s done sort of sin, but a sin nonetheless. I’m resistant to single moms also.
~ Rak Chazak