Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Round Two of "Mild Amusement"

Change one word in a movie (easiest material) to invent an amusing alternative, and put a plausible caption to it.

Chariots of Wire -- before the wheel, there was...steel wool.

Gone with the Rind -- a story about history's biggest fruit heist, ever

Jurassic Lark -- if Alfred Hitchcock and Stephen Spielberg co-wrote a horror movie about extinct birds

The Nopebook -- a romance that was not to be.

Stir Trek -- what happens when the first world famous chef to travel to alien planets secures a reality tv show

No Country for Old Met -- the untold story of why country music's home town is Nashville.

Bats -- this Andrew Lloyd Weber sequel briefly features Bruce Wayne

Fission Impossible -- an action-suspense movie about how the Manhattan Project raced to produce the first nuclear bomb.

The 40 Year Old Virgil -- a prequel to Dante's Inferno, and how come Virgil got to have the role of Hadean Sherpa

How to Lose a Gun in 10 Days -- a documentary on the anti-2nd-amendment efforts of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein and Chuck Schumer

Night of the Living Lead -- in a world where wealthy corporate and government interests assassinate whistleblowers, one investigative reporter faces the struggle of her life, working with a DA to keep a witness safe until he can make his testimony in court the next day.

Rise of the Planet of the Ales -- when most of humanity and the botanical flora of earth are wiped out by a virus, what remains of the human race survives on grains and the beer they can ferment from it.

Apocalypse Sow -- the US army in Vietnam faces herds of bomb-strapped pigs as the Viet Cong make a desperate final offensive.

Laws -- a New Jersey businessman at the height of tourist season suffocates under the overbearing weight of trying to comply with state, local and federal regulations.
"We're gonna need a bigger insurance policy."
The Bungle Book -- a biography of the American Presidencies of the '90s, '00s, and '10s.

The Lion Wing -- Top Gun meets Griffins.

Beauty and the Blast -- a sadistic Frenchwoman leaves partially wilted roses at her crime scenes.

Snow Whine and the 7 Dwarves -- an attractive woman with poor self-confidence frustrates her suitors who try desperately to cheer her up

Air Farce One -- a US President secretly hires terrorists to hijack his plane and execute top Congressmen to change the balance of power and let him ram through the legislation he wants.

To Kill a Mockingbard -- musicians are arrested, jailed and taken to court by the corrupt governments they criticize in their songs

Mulah -- a muslim woman saves the life of a radical cleric and starts a feminist revolution in the middle east

Black Swag -- a movie about a ballerina from a low-income housing project who popularizes hip hop

One Blew the Cuckoo's Nest -- a terrorist who gets institutionalized for "mental illness" after murdering 30 Americans hatches a plot to destroy the asylum and flee to continue his mission.

The political ones are just so easy. Hope you enjoyed 'em.

edit to add: Lord of the Stings -- a detective duo travel cross-country, assisting police departments in setting up sting operations, until their talents are discovered by the FBI and they become consultants.

~ Rak Chazak

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