24
If you celebrate something, there has to be a meaning to it. And if there is a
meaning to it, you ought to understand it. If someone mindlessly follows
traditions, that’s an enormous turn-off. I can’t be in a relationship with
someone without an independent mind.
25
For that matter, doing anything without a good reason for it is a big
red flag. Do you put as much thought into your life as I do mine? I’ve thought
my life through thoroughly because it matters to me. If you haven’t, then you
essentially express by your actions that it doesn’t matter to you. So then, I
wouldn’t matter to you—because what I value is a part of my identity.
And you can’t have a functioning relationship where one person doesn’t matter to
the other
26
There seems to be a fair amount of pleasantly fit women at the gym. Hardly a
revelation there. But after a couple met gazes and smiles extended, it makes me
wonder where I’ll meet my SO. Could it be at the gym? In a supermarket
checkout? At church? On the street? How my future will play out is a
tantalizing mystery, and keeps me motivated to stay in it and find out.
27
While someone who’s out of shape is unappealing, someone who has battled weight
and adopted a physically active lifestyle is a more hopeful investment than
someone who’s skinny but never came within a mile of a pair of running shoes.
As an interesting side note, a demonstrated determination to lose weight may be
more valuable than I previously recognized, considering the effects of
[multiple] pregnancy[ies]
28
There’s different ways to be acquainted with lousy people. One way is to keep
them at arm’s length, and make nearly every encounter about witnessing to them.
Another way is to pal around with them like you’re buddy-buddy with them. If a
lady does the latter with people who are worse influences on her than she is a
good influence on them, it will show me she’s either got poor judgment or is
‘of the wrong social stock’ to begin with and I will be wise to keep her at
arm’s length and avoid engaging with her personally.
29
It feels really good to flirt. But perhaps this is a side effect of it being
the deepest intimacy level with strangers I’ll allow myself to have. Others
might like hugging, holding hands, dancing, kissing, or sex. I imagine I’ll be
less flirtatious when I find that one person to pour all my romantic energy
into. On the other hand, perhaps it’ll be such a big part of my personality and
so ingrained at that point, that I’ll always talk that way. Of course, whether you come off as flirtatious depends mostly on whether someone likes you.
30
I want someone who’s confident—just not via being self-absorbed or having an
inflated view of self. Failing that, if I’m able to build up her confidence
because she receives words of encouragement from me gladly, that would be
enjoyable to do. But someone who denies and refuses to accept positive comments
is expressing a form of pride that relishes a low view of self. This is a
turn-off and it’s offensive to be called a liar with regard to your personal
feelings of what’s nice, beautiful, etc. More than a few girls have fallen out
of my interest this way. The quickest route to offend somebody is to disagree
with them over what is or is not their benevolent opinion and to imply they
have no right to encourage or help you.
~ Rak Chazak
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