June 1-4, 2014. AWPATT #1-4
1
Looks aren’t most important. But looks are
important. They should never overrule bad character in choosing yes, but can
still disqualify if good character is present. In other words, it can’t
be a priority in making a decision for initiating a relationship, but
can be a limiting factor in a decision against beginning a relationship.
You don’t go looking for the ugliest person you can find, as if looks don’t
matter at all. There needs to be attraction between the two of you. But you
still have to deal with the character and personality when the outer beauty
fades away, so it’s wise to make sure that the condition of those are such that
you won't find yourself in an intolerable situation down the road.
2 I
want someone who has good work sense. Who fits in when things need to be done
and takes direction well. Who understands that requests for help are not done
out of laziness but actually recognize her ability and importance. Someone who
doesn’t cop an attitude about having to put in effort to do something—ever.
This was provoked in reflecting on coworkers. Certainly the above is applicable
to me, too, but I don’t need to be told. When I know I have a job to do, you’re
not going to find me snottily saying “you can say please” or “say excuse me!”
Formalities are beyond unimportant when work needs to be done. Do soldiers in a
war zone or rescuers during a humanitarian crisis ask politely and say thank
you when they need something? No, they shout that they need it and someone
tosses it to them. People who demand formalities in a busy work environment are
really displaying self-righteousness. If someone does this, it’ll be a huge red
flag to me and I will be very strongly turned off. My spouse will have to have
work ethic. And they will have to be okay with not being praised, or shown
formalities just for existing.
3 I
have an idea that her name has to sound right. Jessica, Rebecca and Sarah are
my most common go-to “wife names,” if I’m daydreaming. Some names sound more
adult-like, and some sound fringy. Ashley sounds young and immature, whereas
Shirley sounds old. I wonder how I’ll be surprised. What strange – or entirely
not – name will my future love interest turned fiancée possess?
4 I
won’t marry a divorced woman lest her husband cheated. A woman who has had a
no-fault divorce and her husband remarries, I still would probably avoid. You
don’t know what’ll happen in the future. What if the husband divorces that
woman and comes back, humbly and repentant, to his first wife to seek
forgiveness? You don’t know that they won’t get back together. Don’t interfere
in a relationship where two people ‘gave up’ because ‘it got hard.’ It’s not
your place, and in strictly Biblical terms, it sure seems like it’s a sin. A
once-it’s-done, it’s done sort of sin, but a sin nonetheless. I’m resistant to
single moms also.
~ Rak Chazak
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