5
On more than one occasion, I’ve attended or been attended by someone as one or
the other of us tried on clothes. This ought to be a natural and comfortable
thing for us to do (not saying we would both be in the dressing room). And we
ought to give deference to each other’s opinions. There’s a sense in which
professional attire isn’t necessarily the other’s prerogative to determine, but
in terms of modesty and appeal, since we want to look good for each other and
not fundamentally for anyone else, our significant other’s opinion on our
casual day-to-day wear would logically seem to bear the most importance.
6
I’m not even moderately attracted to someone with a loose lifestyle. Somebody
with a history of partying, getting drunk/high is unappealing because of the
level of cognitive stupidity required to be that way.
7 I
don’t understand what could be appealing to girls about guys who misbehave or
speak rudely to them. Those who tolerate it or even act charmed by it, I
personally find myself very suspicious of. It’s a turn-off.
8 I
certainly have ethnic preferences in beauty, but no one could call someone
racist for thinking some people are more attractive – TO THEM – What is
racially supremacist is when you say “black/white/asian/etc women are the most
beautiful women in the world.” Now you’re not just speaking your opinion about
personal preference, you’re insulting everybody by jumping from specific
observations to generalities, and by making truth claims when the vast majority
of what you’re speaking about is outside of your personal experience.
It’s neat when I notice attraction to a very different looking person, but chances are cultural differences will prevent me from being able to marry “outside.” It’s not about how you look, it’s about what traditions (a culture of constant boozing every weekend such as where I live is counted as a tradition because it’s culturally transmitted) inform your identity and aspirations. The fact that how people look happens to overlap with how they behave is mere coincidence, and value judgments on the behavior don’t translate to value judgments on people who look more like that person than like you.
It’s neat when I notice attraction to a very different looking person, but chances are cultural differences will prevent me from being able to marry “outside.” It’s not about how you look, it’s about what traditions (a culture of constant boozing every weekend such as where I live is counted as a tradition because it’s culturally transmitted) inform your identity and aspirations. The fact that how people look happens to overlap with how they behave is mere coincidence, and value judgments on the behavior don’t translate to value judgments on people who look more like that person than like you.
In case you didn’t realize I was
getting at this, I’m saying that most white
people are uninteresting to me for cultural reasons, because of how much the
things they value clashes with what I value. The difference between racism and
being thoughtful is whether there’s the element of prejudice. Pre-judging
something before having the facts is always stupid. Making an educated judgment
about whether you approve of a person’s behavior (and in context, find them
attractive as a potential partner) is never wrong. It’s common sense. It’s what
people do, in every other arena of life.
9
She ought to keep a Journal. it’s good for several reasons, most importantly to
work out/develop your thoughts, to reason through things and know yourself, and
to be better able to be known.
10
If she doesn’t appreciate my efforts to be thoughtful and romantic, I don’t
know how we’ll work out. If she has a “meh” reaction to my poems posted on this
blog, for example, that’s pretty much a red flag. It’s just logic. If you don’t
“speak the same romantic language,” you’re not going to connect on a personal
level and you won’t be able to demonstrate love to each other in a meaningful
way.
~ Rak Chazak
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