When I began, I was thrilled to share what I had discovered about political, theological and scientific reality with everyone else in the online campus community. I love learning the truth and I seek it with all my might. SURELY, I thought to myself, surely everyone else must also want to know the truth, and be glad to hear it?
In retrospect, it was an extremely naive thing for me to suppose. In expecting others to be happy to hear the truth, I foolishly assumed that they would recognize it as truth upon hearing it. Furthermore, I've found that some people consciously resist the truth because they are unwilling to accept its implications for emotional reasons.
Strife ensued. I'm disappointed that so many people have sought to defame me in public and in secret, with vicious rumors, mostly false, all misleading. I was naive to not anticipate that people would go after me instead of wrestling with the truth I challenged them with. In retrospect, I imagine I am, after all, an easier target.
I find that this passage from Ecclesiastes 2 expresses my heart's cry:
13 Then I saw that wisdom excels folly
As light excels darkness.14
The wise man’s eyes are in his head,
But the fool walks in darkness.
Yet I myself perceived
That the same event happens to them all.15
So I said in my heart,
“As it happens to the fool,
It also happens to me,
And why was I then more wise?”
Then I said in my heart,
“This also is vanity.”16
For there is no more remembrance of the wise than of the fool forever,
Since all that now is will be forgotten in the days to come.
And how does a wise man die?
As the fool!
17 Therefore I hated life because the work that was done under the sun was distressing to me, for all is vanity and grasping for the wind.
This is likely to continue for as long as I remain in view. When I finally manage to pick up my feet and walk away, I won't do so announced. I will simply leave and let the chips fall where they may. I do not hate those who have spoken evil of me; I hate their deeds. I will refrain from judging and let God settle the account.
Psalm 28:4 May the Lord repay them according to their works.
I am at peace. God is in control. He will have the last word.
~ Rak Chazak